Manowar Declares Microwaves a “Threat to Metal Frequencies,”
🎸 Manowar Declares Microwaves a “Threat to Metal Frequencies,” Launches Anti Microwave Tour
June 15, 2025 By: ThunderTongue Metal Gazette
In a thunderous press conference held in a converted medieval fortress in Austria, Manowar frontman Eric Adams declared war not on false metal, but on an unexpected target: microwaves.
“They corrupt the true hertz, man,” Adams bellowed to a stunned crowd. “Every time you nuke a frozen burrito, Odin weeps. It disrupts the sacred low-end resonance of bass guitars!”
The band claims to have run “scientific tests” in an underground lair in Liechtenstein showing microwave ovens interfere with D standard tuning “by at least 0.666 Hz,” creating what Joey DeMaio calls “false harmonics of treachery.”
As a result, Manowar has announced their most ambitious tour in years:
⚔️ The Hammers Against Heat Tour 2025
Microwave detectors at venue entrances
Every show ends with the destruction of a microwave on stage via war hammer
The merch table sells “Certified Kvlt Toasters” (no radiation, just righteous heat)
Special guest: Sirens of Saturn, an all female Viking progres metal band from Iceland
The first show will be held in Wacken, where local authorities have agreed to ban microwave ovens within a 10 km radius of the stage “for the purity of the riff.”
Public reaction is split. While some call it “the most metal thing ever,” others question the science and the sanity.
Still, ticket sales have spiked. And as DeMaio said while lighting a microwave on fire:
“If you don’t feel this in your bones, you’re not made of steel. You’re made of plastic and radiation.”
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